2014

New Years is always a time of reflection and family time for Colt and I. This year we celebrated New Year's Eve by hanging out at the church with friends and family for part of the night and then we headed home around 9:00. Guess what we did when we got home? Yep.. We went to bed. Cwyn has a really bad cold and has been teething so she was miserable and Colt worked all day so he was tired. I rang in the new year with my hubby snoring next to me and my feverish, coughing baby sleeping on my chest. Not ideal to have sick and tired family members but cuddled up next to them was the perfect way to ring in the new year. On New Year's Day we took Cwyn to grandma and grandpa Nett's and had a day date. We went to Cabela's, had lunch, and shopped for ourselves and our house. We also talked A LOT about our plans for the future and let me tell you, that man of mine is the greatest! I can't wait to see how many goals we accomplish together in 2014 and how many dreams we see fulfilled! We have learned to leave our "5 year plan" pretty open because our life has been evidence that the Lord's plans are ALWAYS better. So.. Here's to another year with my best friend by my side and a beautiful baby to join us! Can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us!

All that was...

2013 was an amazing, busy, challenging, and happy year for us! When I asked Colt to describe this year he described it perfectly by saying it was a year of change. Not just change but significant change! We welcomed a beautiful baby girl in January and began our most important adventure. We bought a house, a fixer upper, and are still in the process of renovating. We both changed jobs, Colt twice. He's settled in at Pierce refurbishing and building firetrucks and I'm learning to love my role as wife and mommy, or "Chief Home Officer" as I've heard it called (it sounds legit!) On top of all that we have a new home church and are on the worship team under my dad, Colt is a deacon and I'm Children's Ministry leader. We've been stretched financially because of my change to the home front and we've been challenged in our relationship as we balance being mom and dad with being husband and wife. So how do we feel looking back on this year? Tired! This year was busy and we have so much to be thankful for, but we're worn out. As we've talked about this last year we have a lot to look forward to in 2014. Now that we feel established in our roles, jobs, house and church we can kind of breathe again and embrace next years joys and challenges with renewed spirit. We serve an amazing God. We both feel ready for a new year and are quietly reflecting on all that was in 2013. Here are some highlights..

The birth of Cwyn Danae on 01.27.13

Buying this house....

And doing this...

This...

This...

And then this to what it is now (I'll do a separate post with updated pics!)

Celebrating two years with this guy!

And rounding out the year with lots of family time!

2013 has been great and I can't wait to see what the Lord has planned for us in 2014! 🎉

Cabela

I realized I haven't officially introduced our puppy, Cabela! We call her Bella because it's easier for Cwyn to say. She's a little labradoodle and we got her when she was 8 weeks for my birthday. She is quite the little character and her and Cwyn are already fast friends. She cleans up Cwyn's messes and Cwyn makes sure to keep her fed. They annoy each other a lot but overall she is fighting in with our family quite well. She's definitely a puppy, and is naughty at times, but it's been fun! 

Christmas

We had a perfect Christmas and it was so much fun celebrating Cwyn's first one! We started our festivities on Christmas Eve morning by opening presents and having breakfast with just our little family of three. Cwyn opened her two big presents from us and then we made pancakes and played with Cwyn's toys all morning/afternoon. Around 4:00 we packed up and went to my parents house for dinner. We ate with my family and then went to Candlelight Service at church. The service was simple and relaxed.. It felt so cozy and homey. We stayed after and chatted with friends before driving over to Colt's parents to have snacks and hang out for the rest of the night. My family all came over, as well. We've done this after church get together for 3 years in a row now and it is so much fun! After we left their house we went back to my parents to spend the night. The next morning we woke up at my parents house (which was THE.BEST!) and opened presents and had breakfast. Then Colt, Cwyn and I left to go to my in-laws to open presents there before we headed up north to spend the rest of Christmas with my mother-in-laws family. It really was such a great day! Cwyn was so spoiled and she got to meet more of her family. All in all, despite its busyness, we loved our first Christmas with our Cwyn! And today daddy is off to work while Cwyn and I spend the day cleaning up and playing with her new toys! I hope you all had just as awesome of a day as we did! As always, we remember the reason for the season and spent time as a family thanking God for our many blessings, especially the gift of His son! I never make New Years resolutions but I do love looking back on all the great things that happened that year and make a list of things we'll look forward to in the next year. I'll be posting more about that next week! Enjoy the (few) pictures we took of Cwyn on Christmas.. We were having too much fun to stop and get lots of pics!

Sledding.. Cwyn's first time! She liked it for the first few times and then she was done!

Playing with her Little People house and town that mommy and daddy got her!

Our little Christmas elf lol

She was in awe of all the lights and ornaments at church 

New jammies from Oma and Papa and so excited to be wearing them (and to be going to bed lol)

Riding her car from Grandma and Grandpa

Playing with all her new toys the next day!

There is nothing better than watching the wonder of Christmas through the eyes of a child! 

Mommyhood (So Far....)

Whoa... Being a mom is tough on the heart. I'm not sure where to even start this post. Being a mom is a roller coaster of emotions and experiences and it's sometimes hard to process it all. Especially when you're still "in the trenches," so to speak. 

 I'm sitting here, a little over a month away from my baby's first birthday, and wondering where the time has gone and how one little person could change my life so much. She's walking, talking, expressing her emotions, likes/dislikes, and loves giving kisses. She's not a teeny tiny newborn anymore and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I've never felt so vulnerable in my entire life as I do now being a mom. Everyday I have to see my heart, living outside of my body in the form of my little girl, and let me tell you... It is not easy! I remember being pregnant and counting down the seconds til we could meet her and sometimes I wish she could have stayed inside. She was safe, warm, and protected from the world and I don't know if I can do as good of a job keeping her protected now as I did then. But she's here and I have no choice but to muddle my way through and hope she turns out okay ;)

When Colt and I were engaged and talked about having a family someday we decided that if at all possible I would stay home with our kids. We felt that we should be the ones raising our children and shaping them into children of God. Little did we know that God's plan included a little baby girl, a lot sooner than our 5 year plan allowed for. I had just graduated and was looking forward to being a teacher and there was no way I was giving that up. Then I saw my Cwynie for the first time and she had my heart. I couldn't imagine giving anyone my baby to love, comfort, and care for everyday. That's not to say that the decision was easy by any means. I battled with myself, my husband and God often, and if I'm honest, I still do. There's nothing like being a mom and I know it's a worthy and admirable calling but it's one I feel so unqualified for. Cwyn has never had any major illnesses, bruises, bumps or incidents but I can't help but feel like I've left a mark on her in many ways. I oftentimes find myself snapping at her and her "sassiness" when she refuses to nap in her bed and will only sleep if I hold her. I wish I could just sit and appreciate these moments she gives me but sometimes I can't. I struggle with feelings of guilt and frustration. Guilt over leaving her with someone else and missing the best moments of her life, guilt for not providing financially for my family, frustration for spending so much time and money to get a degree that I'm not using. And then there's the feeling of inadequacy that is fueled by others. It's hard enough being a mom, but it's even harder when someone thinks they'd do better than you. "Yes I know she's not wearing socks. If you have the energy to fight her ALL.DAY.LONG to keep them on, feel free. Yes she's sitting in her Bumbo on the counter. I'm right here. Yes she's wearing a jacket in her car seat. It's cold. Yes I know she's sleeping on her stomach and with a blanket. If you want to stay up with her all night because she can't sleep how she's most comfortable, go for it." And on and on. I totally understand that the hearts of these people are in the right place and they have no malicious intent, however, that doesn't make it hurt any less. It's like their saying, "Hey, you're not doing a very good job. Let me help." But this is what I know. Cwyn was formed inside of me by God and He knew what kind of mom I'd be and what kind of child she would be. And let me tell you, He knows that this daughter of mine needs someone more stubborn than she is. That's where I come in. I'm her mom and only I can be what she needs. Having said that, being a stay at home mom makes you even more aware of your flaws and your successes. I'm still caught off guard sometimes when I can recognize what she wants/needs before anyone else can and I'm even more amazed when whatever I do actually works. Those are the moments I feel like I'm nailing this mom thing. I love Cwyn and her little personality. I look at her and see the best qualities, ones that I hope she keeps, and I see some negative ones that I hope I can lovingly correct. Her sassiness will come in handy at times but I hope I can teach her that she doesn't need to use it. Her stubbornness will get her far but again, I hope I can show her the right way to use that strength so it isn't a weakness. She's a happy, easy going baby who is SO smart and I hope I can continue to encourage those traits in her. 

God has given me a new dream for my life and an entirely new purpose. I want to raise Cwyn, and our future children, to love and serve the Lord. I'm not sure right now how that will look. I don't know if I'll return to work or if I'll always be home for our kids but I do know that most of the well laid plans Colt and I had when we first got married have been changed, and in almost every way it's been better. We never thought we'd have our daughter right now but we can't imagine life without her. The Lord has blessed us with a new house, new jobs, roles, and purposes, a new church and church family, and a new plan. We aren't sure where it'll take us or what we will be doing 5 years from now but we do know that we're content to let the Lord lead us! We've talked so much lately about what's important in life and it's not success as defined by the world. Cwyn has given us, among many other things, a greater understanding and faith in the Lord. I hope and pray that no matter what kind of mom I am that God fills in and lives in the heart of my baby. I pray she grows up to be a God fearing woman who loves her husband and children and fulfills whatever purpose God has for her. She's a blessing that I never knew I wanted or needed but the Lord knew. I know He's got big plans for her and I hope I contribute to His plan! 

Thanks for reading my ramblings and being a part of our lives. We appreciate the love and support from all of you! And to make your time reading this worth it.. Here's a photo dump of our little (and our new puppy!!!!) 

Her hair is getting so long and keeping it in a bun keeps it contained!

Taste testing the cake we made for daddy!

Our little Cabela!

She's the silliest and loves waving!

Chatting with her puppy!

We Killed a Tree 🎄

On December 1st, we took Cwyn to pick out her first Christmas tree and experience all that goes with it. She rode the hay wagon, enjoyed apple cider, and shopped the ornaments! We came out with the perfect first tree for her, lots of new memories, and the nostalgic feeling of continuing traditions! She loved it and we couldn't have picked a better day to go! Her aunts, uncles and grandparents all went, as well. My family and Colt's go together to get trees and it's so nice to enjoy the tradition with both our families. I can't wait for years to come to see how much more she enjoys it!

Cwyn's First Thanksgiving

Our little turkey!

This was the only picture I managed to get of her and her outfit the whole day.. We were too busy having fun. 

Our first stop of the day was over to grandma and grandpa Nett's house to eat breakfast with them. Cwyn took a nap and then we all ate breakfast and hung out together for the morning. Then momma and Cwyn headed over to Oma and Papa's house (my parents) to help get the rest of the meal ready while Daddy, grandpa and Papa went to hunt for awhile. Momma makes a fruit salad called CaTamMaFruit Salad, a recipe my mom and I made when I was little, and we make it every year. Someday Cwyn will make it with me until she has her own family and it's time to pass it on. I love that we have our own traditions. The rest of the day was spent eating and enjoying friends and family. My parents had a packed house so there were tons of people to enjoy. Momma and daddy also participated in the annual Curtis family football game, in the snow this year, while Cwyn watched from inside. We had such a great day! Colt and I thought it was our best Thanksgiving so far! We have so much to be thankful for, a new house, a new job for Daddy, a new "job" for Momma staying at home with Cwyn, and especially for our baby. She brings so much joy to our lives and she's definitely a blessing! Overall, it was a perfect first Thanksgiving for little miss!